Active Imagination – Conversation with the Forgotton Anima

Submitted by - Anonymous

I sit at a table by a lamp in the breezeway.  I hear crickets and locusts outside.  There are traffic sounds in the background.  It is 10:14 PM.  I'm a bit tired and will be getting ready for bed soon.  One of the cats is out here with me.

Me: where should I go?  Will this happen?

Voice: Hey.

Me: Could be my imagination.

Voice: Isn't that all of life?

Me: Ha-good one.

Voice: You like witty.

Me: You are Baltasar?

Voice: No.

Me: Good.

Voice: I'm different.

Me: We'll see.

Voice:Right.

Me: Now what?

Voice: You tell me.

Me: Are we supposed to go somewhere?

Voice: Not necessarily

I have no answer for the voice.  Some time passes.  I stare at the flower on the tablecloth designs.

Me: I'm going to the bridge.  The bridge where I'd met Baltasar last time.  You may follow.

I see the bridge it's made of wood.  It's the arched rails.  It's about 4 feet wide.  It's getting dark.  There are pines around the area.  The sunset is almost all the way down.

Voice:  This is better.

Me: Yes.

I'm on one edge nothing is happening.  I sit on my beer in the real world.

Voice: You aren’t keen on this are you?

Me: Only a bit.

Voice: It was Baltasar, wasn't it?

Me: Yes and no, but mostly yes.

Voice: He is not the only one.  There are 300 or more, at least around here.

Me: In me you mean?

Voice: So to speak.

Me: You are a bit boring too.

Voice: You want to pizazz?

Me: Not really.

Voice: Good.  This is not about pizazz.

Me: I know.  That is missing the point.

Voice: What would you like?

Me: How about money?  How about health and good luck, long life?

Voice: No love?

Me: You are her are you?

Voice: No not her.

Me: Did you project on to her?

Voice: No.

Me: So why love?

Voice: Most want that.  But you are cold.

Me: Cold?  You are dingy.

Voice: Ah yes, your questions.

Me: If this is an illusion, then why in up all the wisdom of those who profess it to be an illusion is love of such a virtue?  By default is not that virtue also an illusion?  After all don't men make gods in either their own image or what they would like in him up or what they would like a reality to be?

Voice: That's good.  But I have to say that I am one of your aspects.

Me: But you are female?

Voice: Yes, but not like you think.

Me: I see.

Voice: No you don't.

Me: I know.

Voice: You can but you don't.

Me: So?

Voice: Not a problem.

Me: It's all circular bull don't you think?

Voice: Ah, provoking me.

Me: No, just say something already.

Voice: Ah, impatient.

Me: Oh shit!  Up here we go.

Voice: What you mean?

Me: You don't have an answer do you?

Voice: No. but I see your point.

Me: Holy crap.  You are more boring than Baltasar.

Voice: No I'm not.

Me: I may get it.

Voice: I'm pissing you off.

Me: Not really.

Voice: Annoying you?

Me: Yes

Voice: Why?

Me: Hell, you tell me.

Voice: You called me.

Me: Not necessarily.

Voice: Really?

Me: True, I made no stipulations.  I called what may come to come.  I almost think you to say your name. It is Vednice.

Voice: No, Voluntoanius.

Me: F!  Not some Greek BS!

Voice: Don't forget to mythology= psychology.

Me: And you are...

Voice: An aspect of you, one you silenced and almost killed.

Me: So now I'm supposed to be nice?

Voice: Why start now?

Me: OK.  Maybe you had it coming.  Your indirect BS is annoying.

Voice: You’re harsh and abrasive.

Me: I haven't warmed up yet.

Voice: Please don't.

I see a slightly younger woman blonde and crying.  She is not sobbing, just a teardrop running down her cheek.  She is pretty.

Voice: You already suspect me of manipulation.

Me: A logical concern.

Voice: Why?

Me: If you're an aspect of me, shouldn't you already know?

Voice: You abuse everything except when you think it's sacred.

Me: So then, why didn't you come when I'd journal?

Voice: I did.

Me: Really?

Voice: You cannot tell me from Baltasar.  If you could you would say its shit.

              [ I'm beginning to get bored with this conversation]

Voice: Let me grow.  I'm beautiful.  Look at my shape.  Look at my hair and eyes.

Me: But you are not external and to project you externally is not logical.

Voice: There is no logic you idiot.  There is no external reality.  It is choice.

Me: I thought there was an "IS".

Voice: There is an "IS".  It sustains you and everyone else in the universe.  It is real. There is an "IS".

Me: And you?

Voice: I want to love you.  I want to manifest.

Me: To what gain?  For me or for you?

Voice: There really isn't one.

Me: A ha!

Voice: But..

Me: But what?

Voice: Perception, fun, peace.

Me: How can you give peace?

Voice: I'm not human stupid.

Me: So I don't project you?

Voice: You can't.

Me: You are too weak?

Voice: I won't fit.

Me: Ever?

Voice: Only for short time.

Me: That explains it.

Voice: You don't like ups and downs.

Me: You are bad news.

Voice: I am not the bad news.  Those you projected me on are the bad news.  I am not like them.  You must keep things separate.  You must cling to me not them.

Me: That sounds a bit mean to them.

Voice: Isn't that what people do?

Me: But you are not human.  You are of Baltasar's world and we know what he is.

Voice: So you make me to be as him?

Me: No.

               [I stand beside her on the bridge. We look onto the water.]

Voice: I am you also and so was and is Baltasar.

Me: I know what you'll say.

Voice: You wanted great insights, the map to riches, great truths, wisdom, the secrets to the universe, but (tonight) you got me.  I’m important too.

Me: Then manifest in the world in a controlled way.

Voice: I could.

Me: How will I know it is you and that you are safe?  I don't trust you.

Voice: you wanted me when you're younger.  I could not arrive.  Now all I can and you already killed me.

Me: It wasn't my fault, nothing personal.

Voice: Now who is (being) Baltasar?

Me: I have not lied have I?

Voice: But you destroy.

Me: Not really.

Voice: You lash out.

Me: There is a difference.  No manipulative language please.

Voice: Pig.

Me: Once bitten twice shy, you know it's an illusion, isn't it?

Voice: Not in here, out there yes. 

Me: Ah, if you fix it in here, out there works too.

Voice: Baltasar talks (a lot).  You don't listen (to me).  So I make you talk.  Does that answer the question you did not ask?

Me: Yes, I remember.

Voice: Yes?

Me: We got along so splendidly.  Yes, I see you better.  Who are you?

Voice: I told you.

Me: I suppose we have lots to say.

Voice: Yes, you projected in me on to her.  But she was only part me, part flake.  She only wanted love and acceptance and would do anything for it.  But you rejected her, quite wisely.

Me: Oh so I get it, you are the projection not the destructor.

Voice: Well, yes and no.

Me: I get it.

Voice: I easily protect you from what can't measure up to me, but if you project me it can cause great pain.  But since they are not me or can't measure up they must then flee.  The bad news is that it hurts.

Me: Just like...  (I remember a person who is in great emotional pain)

Voice: Yes, him.  He got bit by her.

Me: You are...

Voice: Yes, the Anima

Me: So how do make yourself so boring?

Voice: I did not see you leave (yet)....  ah, you looked at me closer.

Me: So I'm supposed to find you on the outside?

Voice: That would be a huge distraction.

Me: And once again, how would I know it's you?  I don't have time for error.  You know money...

Voice and me: ...time, goods, success.

Voice: You can pretend it's me!

Me: You are nuts.

Voice: Yeah.

Me: So the point to all this is...

Voice: Simple.  You expect everything to be so deep and complicated.  It's not always that way.  Sometimes it is profound.  Sometimes it's nonsense or pure crap.  But sometimes it's just fun.  Lighten up.  (She pushes me jokingly) have fun, expect the unexpected realize when you do this (active imagination) sometimes nothing may happen or it may just be nonsense.  Or of course it could be very deep.

Me: Why you?

Voice: to tell you this.  I had to come.  I’m your Anima.  You don't know me well.  You practically killed me.  You know that because you realize that a few days ago.  It's not a fallen state.  People are happy there and it is just illusion anyway.  Material life, the money and the ease you want are no different.  They are no less complicated.  No more permanent.  Get it?

Me: Got it.

Voice: I'll show you some day. (She pushes me again.) I don't bite.  They might but I don't.  You crossed your worlds up.  I'm leaving now.  I'm not what you wanted.  You hate me now.  You compare me to annoying women and then put those traits on me.  Backward!

She puts are hand on both hips.

Voice: Bye.

She vanishes instantly.  She is right.  I wanted mysticism and secrets to the universe, but in the end she was a bit amusing and would be fun real life.  But whatever.  I'm done for now.

[Active Imagination is method for exploring the unconscious based on the works of Carl Jung. it can be viewed as a meditation technique wherein the contents of one's unconscious are rendered into images, narrative, or personified as separate entities. It can serve as a bridge between the conscious 'ego' and the unconscious. Active imagination includes working with dreams and the creative self through imagination or fantasy.]

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